LE TOUT NOUVEAU TESTAMENT // THE BRAND NEW TESTAMENT

RATING: 2/5

"God exists, and He's a jerk. He lives in a high-rise apartment in Brussels and never gets out of His pyjamas. He takes sadistic delight in dreaming up new "laws" to torment humanity, and He's a petty tyrant to His wife and ten-year-old daughter, Ea. Like her brother before her, Ea has had enough of her Father's abuse, and when she spies the right opportunity, she hacks into His computer and leaks to the entire world-by text message-the only thing He has over them: their certain death date. Ea, after escaping and with her Father in pursuit, gathers apostles and writes her own New Testament to try to fix the mess her Father has made of humanity. Her six apostles -a one-armed woman, a sex maniac, a killer, a woman who has been left by her husband, an office worker, and a gender dysphoric child-learn to celebrate life and love, and provide us with Jaco Van Dormael's dark, witty and eccentric answer to the loaded question: what would you do if you knew exactly how much time you had left to live?"


No doubt about it, this movie could have done so much better. 

While I appreciate what  Jaco Van Dormael was attempting to do with this film (regarding contrasting black, satirical comedy with slightly more sweet moments), ultimately, I feel it just falls short of that mark.

Despite being offensive in many respects, this movie is also not very funny and did not manage to induce a laugh from any one in the room - bearing in mind this was a 2-hour movie. 

Beyond the moments of "comedy", on reflection, it is straightforward to see that the story line and plot development are fragile without virtually any character progression or real depth to the movie. Yes, there are many "jokes" across the span of the film but if you were to ask me what the point of that joke was? No idea.

The idea of a world free from religion and without fear of death is an interesting concept and has a lot of potential to be taken further; however Von Dormael instead chooses to showcase regressive and patriarchal family views in mind-numbingly boring episodes. 

This movie is not thought provoking, entertaining or leaves the spectator with any sort of message. The movie is a bunch of random scenes woven together and pushed out without any real thought of the direction of the film, demonstrated by the final scene which has no relevance to the previous scenes. 

If there is only one positive thing I can say about this movie, is that this an original plot with virtually nothing rivalling this idea in the current rotation. It is this kind of originality that drew me into French movies into the first place and kept me watching and listening, however for this particular film; I can't say I'd like to see again.

Overall, if you are bored and have nothing else to do, try this film!